Donald Trump said yesterday that his National Intelligence Director, Tulsi Gabbard, “is wrong” in her assessment that Iran is not building a nuclear weapon. He then fired Gabbard, issued an executive order abolishing the office of National Intelligence Director, and replaced it with the new office of National Stupidity Director. “Only an unbelievably stupid advisor will advise me to attack Iran,” Trump explained. “I need to find someone with a stupidity quotient like the world has never seen before!”
Trump asked Tucker Carlson to interview candidates for the new post to determine who was most utterly vacuous. Carlson interviewed a number of completely moronic Trump supporters and said it was difficult to choose the dumbest, but that all things considered Ted Cruz appeared to be the winner. Cruz, Carlson explained, knows absolutely nothing whatsoever about Iran (or much of anything else) and will be perfectly happy joining Trump in following Netanyahu’s orders to start World War III for Israel, because he thinks God loves Netanyahu’s genocide. “Now that is stupid,” Carlson enthused. “Seriously, it just doesn’t get any stupider than that.”
